Five-Alarm Tick Warning

If you haven't been camping yet this year, take heed if you have plans to go. You may need to keep some plasma in a cooler just in case the ticks you will encounter bleed you almost dry. For some reason, this year there are enough hungry ticks out there to create a rioting stampede the minute a warm-blooded animal such as yourself sets foot in the grass or the woods.

During my recent camping trip, I found countless bloodsuckers crawling on me before they managed to attach, and had to remove five who did. Most of them were tiny seed ticks, and they are the worst. So small they're hard to grip with tweezers. Every time I returned to my tent, a member of the larger variety was waiting for me on the door. Somehow they got inside - I guess on me, and I started boycotting the woods and slept in my car. I started finding fewer of them, but I still found them on a daily basis.

I put my camping mattress in the dumpster before I left because I didn't want to ride home with a raft for ticks in the back seat. After I took down my camp site, I took a shower and did a thorough tick check. The next morning I found one stuck right above my ear.

When I got home I put all my dirty laundry in the basement. The camping stuff is still in the trunk of my car, which I am afraid to open. A day and half and two showers after I got home, I found another tick. Word to the ladies: the seed ticks like to attach under the breasts, where you will be less likely to see them. I'm afraid one has taken up residence at the bottom of my navel, but I don't know what I can do about that.

I've heard from friends who've been camping at various places in the Southeast and the story is much the same. Supposedly they detest Neem oil and it's said to be a good deterrent, but it's also hard to find. Deet works really well at keeping them away, but that's supposed to be bad for people too.

This situation has reminded me why I prefer to camp in the winter.